'Til Death, and other canned laughs

I know it's been awhile since I've blogged but I just had to get something off my chest. Living with my man has gone relatively easy so far and I'm glad. But there is one thing no one bothered to warn me about.

Apparently when you actually live with a significant other some of your habits have to change. One I hadn't really thought about was shaving. Yup that's right, shaving.

I know some find this gross but I don't like to shave my legs very often. It was never an issue before since I only saw JR once a week if I was lucky. Therefore what did it matter if my legs got a little stubbly? I don't wear shorts so it was doubtful anyone would ever know.

Now however I feel as if I have to touch up every day on my legs. The result; dry itchy abused skin on my legs. And yes I do use shaving cream and lotion afterward.

Hopefully I'll get over this need to stay silky smooth for my man (he only shaves when he absolutely has to for work.) I saw a commercial on TV for a new sitcom about several couples that got me thinking about all this. One of the couples are Newlyweds and the commercial shows a clip of the wife saying she was going to paint her toenails in the bathroom because her husband shouldn't have to see that kind of thing.

The next clip was from a couple who've been married for awhile. The man comes in to the bedroom telling the wife that she won't believe what he has. He pulls out a huge gross toenail clipping and they both examine it with interest.

JR and I are like the second couple a lot of the time. But there are still things I have problems with. Example: going to the bathroom. I have severe performance anxiety if I think he can see, hear, smell, or even suspect I'm doing anything personal on the potty. In fact I'll make him turn up the TV and stay well away from the bathroom if I feel the need to go.

I was reading a women's magazine a few years ago and in it that had some tips for keeping you relationship "hot." The number one tip was to keep personal hygiene out of the bedroom, and to not let your man see you doing "maintenance" on yourself. We had a good laugh over it saying we'd never be that uptight.

Mostly we're very open and un-grossed out by each other, but I still have a few hang-ups. Shaving is just one I never expected to have.

Life in Progress

My life just got significantly better, my Internet service came early. Kind of like an early birthday present from Verizon. I find it funny hoe JR scoffed at my whining about not having Internet. Yet when I woke up today he was busy hooking up HIS computer to MY Internet.

I don't really care, he can use it to his hearts content. I just laugh at how for 9 months he thought he was fine without it at home; and now he's all about it.

In any case, I'm a much happier me today. On top of FINALLY being re-connected to the world, I've also had a breakthrough with some of my Gym issues. I discovered a branch of my Gym that is in a better part of town and closer to my apartment. It's a lot better. The equipment is newer and there are no windows, which I think added to my insecurities at the other place.

Now to make my life even better I need to figure out how to get sleep and be more comfortable at work.

Making Richard Simmons Proud

I joined a Gym. They were having a special sign-up deal $15 a month for two years. That's not bad if you consider that JR is paying at least three or four times that a month where he works out.

It's a Ladies only Gym, but not like Curves in anyway. Some of the girls there are hard core. And even though there are plenty of women in worse shape than I, I'm still intimidated.

This is one reason I HATE working out. For one, my workout clothes are never as trendy as some. I just can't see blowing cash on clothes I'm going to sweat in.

Secondly, even though it's an all women Gym there are still people judging you. I know I'm guilty of looking around and critiquing the way the bigger girls just putz around, when I should be congratulating them for even getting off their asses.

So it makes me wonder what Miss Size 2, who doesn't sweat and has a killer tan, thinks about my white jiggly thighs on the treadmill. It's hard to focus on yourself when you're thinking about everyone around you. Sometimes it makes me work harder, other times I quit before I start.

It's just not a world I'm comfortable in and I feel like everyone there can tell I'm a fraud who doesn't belong. For example, the girl who signed me up was shocked that I was turning 25 this week. She thought I looked 17.

I was not flattered in the least. Either she thought I looked young and immature without make-up and wearing the perviously mention sloppy clothes; or she thought to "get in good" with the older lady by saying she looked young. I for one thought this girl wasn't old enough to drink.

But I'll go several times a week because I am getting married in a little over a year and want to be in peak condition. I'm terribly afraid that "living in sin" will turn into "living with cellulite" if I don't stay on top of my weight (not that I don't already have cellulite but you know what I mean.)

So wish me luck in losing these last 15 pounds and staying away from the Cheesecake my mom baked for my birthday.

Almost hit a deer

..on the way to work my first day. For those of you who know me you'll know why this sucks so much. One of the bonuses of my new job was the commute to work was a fraction of what I used to drive, AND it's all city driving.

But there I was 3:00am on I-475 in Toledo (which is brightly lit the entire way,) and there go a couple of deer. So now I've got to decide to risk the deer on the Freeway; or I can take the side streets through some not so nice areas (I saw several Hookers one night) to work every morning. I just can't win.

Something I forgot to mention in my last blog about how work can be frustrating was that it's all worth it. I've had moments of doubt and loneliness. I've questioned several times if I really HAD to give up a job I liked and great friends so soon. These moments however, are short lived.

For one, I'm not going to lose my work friends THAT quickly. Two, there were quite a few things about my old job I really hated. Three, my other living situation was unacceptable. And even if those factors didn't exist the truth is without JR, life is fairly meaningless.

I heard an old song on the radio yesterday that spelled it out perfectly how I feel. It's Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight, you've heard it. In one line she sings "I'd rather live in his world than without him in mine."

That said, living with JR for the first time is going well. We've had one tiff and that was about the fact that we don't have Internet yet (I asked him to set it up months ago.) Sleep is another issue for us, ok it's an issue for me.

Going to work at 3:30am poses problems for a couple whose work schedules are so different. Thus far he has woken up for my alarm at 2:00am more than me. He says he doesn't remember most of the time but I still feel bad. On top of that I'm not getting much sleep (sorry I just can't go to bed at 6:00pm.) I thought I was tired on my old shift, but I was bed slug compared to now.

JR's a good roommate. He's clean, he likes to cook and he's considerate about not making a lot of noise. We don't have as much time together as I thought we would but maybe that's a good thing. I get every Saturday night off so that's something at least.

On a side note. I was at my parents house this weekend. My dad asked me one morning how I slept. I told him I was fine. He then said it must be nice for me to get to sleep in a bed instead of on the couch. ARG, honestly, how am I supposed to react to that?

4s are 7s and 7s are 4s

... meaning my new Producer has poor hand writting.

My new job is ok. Nothing terribly bad, but nothing outstandingly good either. I am now an overnight Production Assistant.

At my new station this means I roll the Prompter and Floor Direct, or I run the Cyron and punch up graphics during the show. I also make the graphics using several computer programs.

Not Brain Surgery that's for sure, but there is a learning curve. Meaning I have gone from being the person who answers questions for people, to being the one ASKING them. And I hate that.

Of course I'm going to make mistakes but I hate it that people assume I'm going to make them before I do. So far I have impressed my co-workers and bosses by how quickly I've picked up on how they do things. However there are a few individuals who only know me as "the new girl" and take it upon themselves to tell me things.

Take today for example. Show was over and I had been on the floor. I messed up a few things but nothing major. I was wrapping up a cable that goes with our hand-held prompter. This older women who was running one of the cameras pointed out that I was wrapping the cable wrong.

Ok, stop. I have a Bachelor's degree in Broadcasting and have spent over two-years in television. I think somewhere along the line I picked up on how to properly wrap a cable. If I am doing it wrong it is either out of laziness or because the cable has been wrapped wrong so many times before the only way to give it any shape is to continue doing what others before me had done.

Since I'm the new kid on the block, I'm not being lazy about anything. That conversation is like so many I've had this past week and a half. And it's extremely frustrating to me although I know it's a cross I must bear.

The other bug in my butt is the News department. Producers, please treat the PA's kindly. Not that anyone in News has been mean, in fact everyone is fairly nice, but they're cold and talk down to me. After all I am only a PA.

Part of me understands why, and in the back of my head is all those times I ignored or thought less of PA's at my old station. A Production Assistant is at the bottom of the totem pole at any station. Usually they are new to TV and are either in college or never went.

Consequently it's somewhat of a revolving door position. I can understand how those in News shrink away from getting too close to a person who won't be around all that long. Still it stings to feel left out of the "cool kids" crowd.

That said the other PAs are very nice and cool people. Slowly I'm working up to building friendships. I'm very homesick for News 10. Even though I hardly (if ever) got to see my co-workers outside of work, the comfort/friendship level was high and I miss it.

My former Producer had it right when she told me it wouldn't be as fun to work overnights somewhere else. We had a tight group at 10. At my new station there are a lot more people around. I've had to cut back on my swearing dramatically. I dropped an F-bomb today at work and wasn't sure what to do. A few of the folks around me flinched ::sigh:: I miss you girls.

I've got more to say, of course, but am once again running out of computer time at the Library. July 24th and my new DSL service can't come soon enough for me. I'll write more on work later. And I'll soon be writing about life with JR in Toledo, the Glass City (minus the G and L at times.)

Ta Ta for now.

Sinful Life

Whew, ok I'm back, sorta. I still don't have Internet and won't for a least two more weeks. But today I did get my Ohio Driver's License and therefore was able to get my Library card. So right now I'm typing on a shitty computer with snotty kids running around, but a least I'm back in the loop.

And let me tell you it's hard to be out of the "loop." When you have the option of using the Internet you can take it or leave it. When you're faced with the reality that you absolutely have no way to get online, you go a little nutty. Add to that I'm PMSing and homesick and you get a very bitchy me.

All right, now to nitty gritty, living in Ohio. The initial move was uneventful, but tiring. I tried to cut back on the amount of stuff to bring so I wouldn't overwhelm JR. Now I wish I'd brought more. I see all this empty space in the apartment and am itching to fill it.

My parents have long said that they wouldn't pay for a wedding if Jeremy and I "lived in sin." That comment alone is hilarious considering my parents and I are Atheist and we've never been to church. I realized long ago it was all bluff, but I still tried to not flaunt my "sinful" acts in front of them. So the wedding is still on (and paid for) but my Father's parting words "You two gonna flip a coin to see who gets the couch?"

I walked away with out a word, I think JR chuckled.

So there is installment #1 of my grand adventure thus far in the state of Ohio. I'd write more, but I'm on a time limit, and I wasn't kidding about the quality of this computer, the keyboard sucks! So look for volume's two, three and maybe four soon.