Radio Silence

I'm a procrastinator. I haven't properly packed for my move to Ohio and I'm feeling the strain now.

You'd think that with two weeks to prepare I'd be on top of the situation (I am the queen of lists and planning,) but when it comes to actually doing, I suck. And now, although I'm not yet in panic mode, I am stressed. So what did I do about it last night? I read a book, yes an entire book.

I did a little packing as well, but not enough. If I wasn't going to pack I should have a least taken a nap, but I didn't ::sigh:: So now I'm half asleep (aided by the goodbye confetti cake Abby baked me, and Tammy's bagels) and struggling with the knowledge that I have a crap load to do today and I'll be lucky to get ANY sleep.

Such is my life. But with the new job I think it will be easier. It's still third shift but that's ok because they're short shifts and fewer days. Add to that the fact that I now have a 15 minute drive vs the hour I commute now. Things are looking up.

I am incredibly sad to be leaving work. I've gained so much from work over the past couple years and am grateful for all of it. I'll miss my morning crew girls the most. I haven't had "real" friends like them in a long time. My hope is that we stick by our promises to keep in touch. I fully expect them to help me as my wedding draws nearer. And if not help, than at least take me out and get shit-faced once in a while.

I could go on and get sappier, but I'm sure I'll be sappy enough at the party we're having tonight.

On a final note, expect little contact with me for a few days. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about internet at JR's, so it may take some time to set it up to our satisfaction.

Shop 'til You Drop

I’ve decided to own up to the fact that I am indeed picky (stop laughing people!) I came to the conclusion today that, although I’d like to think I’m a laid back chick, I am in fact borderline high-maintenance.

Point one: I have the taste pallet with the sophistication of a seven year old. If it’s green I hate it, and if it’s good for me I won’t touch it.

Point two: I like to be comfortable. So much so that I have I will spend more effort on getting comfy than I will on just about anything else. To add to that, I have a particular order in which certain things must be done, almost in an OCD way (ok, go ahead and call me anal.)

Point three: Discovered today but suspected for some time. I’m cheap. At least when it comes to clothing (leave my book buying budget alone.) I know I’ve covered this topic before, but I HATE shopping. I once believed it was my body type that prevented me from enjoying shopping. But I now feel that I am just too damn picky and cheap to be allowed to roam free inside a mall.

The source of my problem? Every girl has found that “dream buy.” You know, the 75% of item that seems like it was made just for you. Well I have been blessed several times by such finds, therefore when I come across a situation where I’m expected to pay full price for clothes I only kinda like, I just can’t do it. Thus creating my issue with not ever being able to find what I want when I go shopping.

I shop like a guy too, which I’m sure doesn’t help the situation. When I go to a store I generally have one or two items in mind. Even if I come across a great find, I’m not very likely to buy it unless I can think of an instance where I might wear it in the near future.

Example: I saw cute, cheap jeans today. But I wasn’t looking for cute jeans. I’m more than sure I could use a pair or two of jeans, but I didn’t want to bother trying them on, so good-bye $12.99 boot-cuts. Guess I can only focus on one thing at a time when shopping.

So if this is the source of my shopping woes, the solution must be to win the lottery. Than I won’t give a damn if I buy something I only wear once.

P.S. I did manage to find a new top to wear this weekend, which I got a dollar off of because I pointed out a missing bead to the cashier. See what I mean, it’s a compulsion.

White Knuckles

So I'm starting a new job soon, and I'm kinda nervous. I've been really lucky thus far with jobs after college. My first out of college job was made easier by the fact that a friend basically got me in. He was a cool guy, therefore I was deemed "cool by association."

Then after we all (the entire newsroom) got the boot, a half dozen of us ended up at another station together. Made that transition hella easy since we weren't alone at a new place.
Now I'm striking out on my own. It's scary. I'm what you'd call "socially inept." I speak to loud and reveal too much. I either play dumb or act like a know-it-all. And in general I lean on my fiancé too much.

So although I know it'd be nice to make friends right away, I've got to really concentrate on making a good impression. I've had some inspiration lately that I hope will help me.

About a month ago we got a new News Assistant. She was very pretty and smiled a lot. But she also talked... a lot. And I'm sorry but at 2:3o in the morning almost no one is chatty. She would apologize for EVERYTHING and send you three or four different kinds of thank yous if you showed her how to do something or helped her out. If you complained about something or someone at work she would tell you how great you were and how she had faith in you. Keep in mind she'd only been there a few weeks.

It was as if she had read a book on how to "make an impression at work" and took it to the extreme. She got so annoying that we couldn't stand it when we knew she was coming in. And although we were never out-rightly mean (I don't think) she ended up quitting. Her excuse to us was the hours were hard for her to handle. To other people she claimed she quit because she wasn't making any friends.

Now I know I'm not that needy or phony, but I'm still concern about the people at this new station. I know how much I resent having new people here, no matter how good they are. So what if this new place is even tougher on the new folks. JR and I know virtually no one in Toledo, except our bartender, and I really want some friends. But beyond that, I hope I excel at this job. Guess I'm just having the usual pre-job jitters.

Victory is mine!

I got the job I got the job I got the job.

Despite all my hand wringing and hemming and hawing (more hemming than hawing) I still managed to get myself hired. Yes it's only a Production Assistant job, but it's a start.

Funny the way life works. For months I've been feeling down and like my life was going nowhere, than BAM! The love of my life asks me to marry him, and a few weeks later I get a job so I can move-in with him. I've always felt that things happen for a reason and although you should never just sit back and expect things to come to you, sometimes you have to let the wheels of Fate do the heavy moving.

So I'm extremely happy, if not a little scared.

It's a big step in my life, and JR's. Things are gonna get really crazy for me in the next couple of weeks, and then hopefully they'll quite down again so I can start some serious wedding plans. I hope I like this job, I want it to work.

I'll show you Sassy

Since I'm sure everyone has been waiting on baited breath for me to blog, I'll say I'm sorry I've neglected writing. Sometimes it seems there's nothing going on and all I do is blog, and then when stuff actually happens I can't seem to get motivated to talk about it. This week was one of the latter (that word always makes me think of climbing things.)

First, the interview. Went well, won't find out anything until next week. On a side note about the interview- the day of my PA interview I went to all the Toledo TV Station's websites out of habit. Oh Shit! Was my response when I found an Editor job at a different station that had been posted for a few days.

I wish I had caught it earlier because then I could have sent out a tape that day and possibly been able to get my dream job. But no, I'm a procrastinator and although I'd been thinking about putting a resume tape together, I never actually got around to it.

So this week I've been frantically putting together stuff for a tape. It's kinda weak, but I edit so much it's hard to remember what my best everyday stuff is. The tape is in the mail, I hope they get it by Friday.

And since this editor job is my dream job I know there is no way in hell I'll get it. This will be the third time I've applied for a job at this station and they've yet to respond back to me. Even though I'm buddies with their weather guy and a reporter ::sigh:: So I'm still pinning my hopes on the PA gig, at least maybe I can get my foot in the door in Toledo.

Secondly, I've decided it may be for the best if JR and I don't attend any more weddings until after we're married. I know people are bound to ask me about our plans, (which are basically none at this point) but it's so much worse when you are at an actual wedding.

We went to one this weekend in Mt. P, we knew almost no one except for JR's parents and some people JR used to work with at college. So here I am sitting next to a woman I've met maybe once before and I'm about ready to knock her lights out.

In all fairness she's a nice woman, but she doesn't understand the phrase "we haven't made any plans yet." The questions were endless, starting from the moment she learned of our engagement and throughout every event at the wedding. I made it through "what color are your bridesmaid's dresses?" and "how are you arranging the seating?" but by the time she got to "Oh! What song are you going to dance to?" I'd had enough.

On top of that JR was saved from this torture since I was sitting in-between acting as a buffer. When the song question came up I'd decided that JR should share this misery so I tried to focus the attention on him. I didn't mean to start an argument, but I did. We've had a song for 6 years, and I do like it even though I would have never chosen it to start with. But JR was so sweet about it when he first shared it with me and said it made him think of me, that I felt it had to be "our" song.

Apparently JR wasn't aware that this was my thought process on "our" song and was hurt that I joked about it being "forced" on me. I'll admit I didn't phrase it right. Point is that we're not ready to discuss these things in private, let alone in front of friends and family. We worked it out and the good news, we managed to keep the song a secret and it shut that woman up.

Score one for the Jill-O!

Update

All right, I confess, I may have bitched too soon. So now I have an interview Monday at the top station in Toledo. The hours are crap, which is ok because I think I'm part Vampire so I won't get too messed up. The number of hours I'd work are about half what I work now. And sadly even though it's like the lowest position at any TV station the hourly pay rate is almost what I make now (I'm way under appreciated.)

Bottom line: I'll be making less to start, but I will have less work to do, I get to stay up all night long, and I can see JR whenever the hell I feel like it. Call me crazy but it sounds good to me.

Wish me luck ^_^*

Nobody likes me everybody hates me...

...guess I'll go eat worms.

All right, so I'm starting to feel sorry for myself. You'd think getting engaged would mean I'm on top of the world, and that part of me is ecstatic, but "Career Me" is taking some blows to her ego.

Now that JR and I are getting married (Yea!!) it's time for us to take that all important step of moving in together. To be honest we've been trying to do that for months anyway, but now it's "game on."

Problem is that I have a great job in Lansing and I can almost guarantee I won't find one I like so much in Toledo, for awhile anyways. But that's just it, I can't find ANY job in Toledo. By any I mean one in TV that I'm qualified for and want to take.

Friday I sent out Resumes for possible TV jobs in T-town. They're basically bottom level jobs running studio cameras and such and you don't have to have a college degree to do the work. But I want one of those jobs regardless. Even if it means only working twenty hours a week at eight bucks tops, I want them bad. Partly because once I get in I know I can move on to bigger things fairly quickly, and mainly because it's fucking killing me to not see JR everyday.

Ideally I'd like to be a full-time editor, but most places don't have editors and the Photogs pick up the slack. So why you might ask don't I just go for a Photog job since that's what I do now? Well I don't have an answer that is easily understood.

Bottom line: I no longer wish to be a Photog.

I have lots of reasons and none of them are because I'm not good at my job or that I hate it. But truth be told I really want to be a Mom someday. And I will NOT stand on the side of an icy overpass with cars flying by if I've got little ones at home waiting for me. I loath shooting that type of stuff now for fear of being hit, and I absolutely refuse to place myself in even minimal danger for a job once I'm a parent.

I may be over-reacting since 95% of shoots I go on are perfectly safe, but it's those 5% of times when you don't even want to get out of the news car that I worry about. Also, I do plan on waiting a few more years for the kiddies, but why delay? If I already know that my career isn't going down that path there's no sense in continuing.

I did interview for a Photog job in Toledo a few months back, and even though I didn't get the job(because they needed someone right away and couldn't wait) I wouldn't have taking it anyway.

Ignoring the fact that the News Director stared at my boobs the whole time, kept commenting on me being a woman, and warned me to have one of the "guys" walk me to my car at night; it just didn't feel right. JR was relieved when I told him I wouldn't take the job even if offered. He would never tell me not to do something but he really wasn't happy about the thought of me running around Toledo by myself all day, and neither am I.

So here I sit waiting for a reply on a couple of PA jobs like one of Donald Trump's apprentices. But I'm not real hopeful. I've applied for these types a jobs before with no response. I've even called-in my contacts at a few of the stations and they said they put in a good word, but nothing so far.

So my ego is taking huge blows because I don't understand why they wouldn't jump at the chance to have me working for them. I've made it very clear I'm moving down there anyway, I'm qualified, and I love working in TV, so why don't they want me?

Get to the point, Cedar Point

I think I'm in the clear. Besides some dry skin and a pink scalp, I escaped a day in the sun without getting seriously burned. In the end I went with a hypoallergenic SPF 30, to help keep down breakouts, and only had to reapply once.

We got a late start on the day due to "Mr. we don't have to set an alarm I'll wake up early;" and me who, when left to it, can sleep the day away without a clue.

So 1:00pm rolls around and we finally make it to the park. Got in for free, YES, and promptly had my required "freak-out" of the day. I got it out of the way early at the Top Thrill Dragster lockers (A.K.A. rape-your-wallet-boxes) so I was good to go for the rest of the day.

It was nearly perfect weather and I was only overly warm for the first hour or so of standing in line. But to further illustrate how pale I am I must share a story. Standing in line for TTD, the sun was beating down pretty strong, and I was a tiny bit sweaty. With this combo my skin became reflective, bouncing back the sun's rays like a shiny object might.

Preteen girl standing behind me is talking and I'm mostly not paying attention, until she starts talking about her hands. She's looking at them and tracing her veins saying how they only stick out when she's tired. Well when someone is talking about a body part of theirs you tend to check out your own to compare.

So I look down at the top of my hand and gross myself out. Due to the above mentioned circumstances my skin is now virtually transparent and my veins are HUGE, and blue, and bulging out. I then understood why that girl was talking about hand veins and her mom kept hushing her and glancing at me.

I had one other experience where I was painfully aware of my whiteness. After lunch I went to the restroom to re-apply sunscreen. It takes me at least a half hour to cover every inch of me and I had to rinse off my face and potty first. It was a small bathroom but at least twenty five people came in during the time I was slathering myself. All of them were tan, or had naturally dark skin. Some ignored me, but a few commented on how they felt lucky after seeing what I had to go through.

I felt garish and weird and rushed through the process as quickly as possible. I finally gave up when a mom and her son started having a fight in one of the stalls about the fact that he wouldn't go poop. It was way bizarre and if I have a little boy, JR is responsible for most of his public potty trips.

JR and I, now properly gooped-up, head out to enjoy the rest of the day. However we didn't foresee the attack of the Fluffies. I have no idea what kind of seeds or pollen these things were but they were everywhere. They reminded me of a cross between a dandelion seed and a cotton ball. They stuck in your hair, on your clothes, and most annoyingly on your skin.

It was the worst while we were in line for Millennium Force. The ride was broken down for a time and we were almost at a stand still. Apparently the Fluffies planned this so that they could converge on us en masse. Arg, I still can feel them clinging inside my nose.. ick.

We wanted to go to the bar later that night and we had ridden just about everything we wanted to, so after the Raptor we headed back. Just in time too since the minute we got off the ride it started to rain.

It was an exhausting day, but a good one. And I know JR isn't a big rollercoaster fan but he went anyway and tried to have fun for me, he's such a sweetie ^_^*