The Incredible Shrinking Woman

This blog is dedicated to Lori, who asked me to blog, but in truth I was going to anyway.


Ladies and Gents. Boys and girls. Grab your wall calendars and a red marker. This is a day that will go down in history. Today I, SassyJill, bought a pair of jeans, (at full price mind you,) in a size 10.

Yup, that’s right, a size 10 (and it wasn’t even a Woman’s size 10.) Never in my post-puberty existence have I come close to squeezing my ass in a pair of jeans that small.

Some of you, the guys especially, are probably thinking it strange that I’m loudly broadcasting my pant size across the Internet. Really weird if you’re a guy who thinks the average woman is a size 6 (dream on boys.) But the girls out there who know how hard I’ve worked over the past two years realize that I am completely ecstatic.

Over two years ago I was buying my clothes in Plus Size sections of stores. But today I had to send JR back to get me smaller sizes. Imagine my shock when I tried on a pair of jeans in what I though was a tiny size 12 and they gaped at the waist!

So I have reached my wedding dress goal size, a full year ahead of time. My challenge now is to maintain or, dare I hope, drop to a single-digit size 8.

There are only two downfalls to losing weight (and I’m not really complaining here.) One is that I have a closet full of clothes I can no longer wear. And two, I’ve lost most of my boobs.

When I was overweight my boobs were my best assets. Anytime I’d want to look good I’d shove those babies up and out in a classic distraction technique. The theory was if people were starring at the girls, they weren’t starring at my fat rolls.

I’m strangely ok with the loss of the girls; I haven’t bothered to ask JR’s opinion on this.

The main reason I went shopping today was to get a pair of shoes. Workout shoes to be specific. Lately my feet have been losing feeling if I’m on the Elliptical for too long, not the healthiest feeling to have your foot suddenly go numb after two miles. I figured it was time for me to get some “real” athletic shoes instead of my $10 Wal-Mart brand.

Of course while at the mall I had to stop in the bookstore. That’s how I reward myself for doing unpleasant things, like shopping, I always get myself a treat. Today’s treat was two new romance novels, (heavy on the steamy side) and a giant cookbook that was on clearance.

I didn’t realize how long we’d been at the mall because apparently my watch had stopped sometime during my excitement over jeans (which by the way I have to take back to get the ink-tag removed…arg.) This is my third watch to break in some fashion in the last month. Wally-World and me need to have an intervention. It’s just so hard to resist the ease of one-stop shopping. Someday though I’ll get it through my head that I’ll end up doing less shopping if I buy better quality items.

JR’s response to my comment about how early it was went something like “Are you smoking crack?” ::sigh:: Yup, that’s the love of my life right there. But seriously he’s such a good sport. As much as I hate to shop I can only imagine how painful it is for him to watch me hating to shop.

On a footnote, the book is coming along nicely. I was able to write over three thousand words yesterday (to compare this blog has under 700 words in it.) Of course today I’ve opted out of writing in order to read one of the new books I bought. I’m calling it research and not feeling the slightest bit guilty about it. Hmm, wonder if I could write off my store-bought romance novels as business expenses? Diffidently something to consider.

A little less conversation...

As many of you have heard, I'm writing a book. Actually I'm writing a series of romance/sci-fi novels. It is an ambitious undertaking but I feel that I'm up to it.

The idea came to me while I was working out one day. I was thinking about how I'm not real happy with my current job and in a few years I hope I'm doing something better. That thinking lead me to wonder where I'd be in five years and what I'd be doing.

I think most people think, "Someday I'd like to write a book." Well I'm one of those folks. So sitting on the exercise bike that day I got to thinking about how I'd market a book.

There are so many good ideas out there today but you really have to have one that stands out. I knew if I were to write a book it had to be a romance. On top of that it had to be supernatural of sci-fi in some way.

Unfortunately there are already a ton of really great authors who are published in those genres. If I were going to break into writing I had to have a catch.. like all the titles had to have the word "Black" in them or something.

Then all of a sudden an entire world of heroes and villains popped into my head. It was the most amazing thing. To go from thinking about nothing to not being able to turn your brain off. Ideas were flying through my head so fast I hardly remember stopping in the middle of my workout and driving home to the nearest pad of paper.

For two hours I jotted down ideas for not one, but at least nine novels, most of them already have titles. I went online and did some research to see if I was getting my facts right. By this point I'd been awake for almost 24 hours.

JR was out of town for the weekend and I had to work at six in the morning but I couldn't let it go. I tried laying down once and immediately got back up and turned on my laptop. I wrote the first three chapters non-stop before I finally collapsed after being awake for close to thirty hours.

The next day I got up, went to work, and when I came home I wrote two more chapters.
The day after that I did some more research and edited what I had wrote. Then JR came home, and I couldn't write a damn thing.

Part of me wanted to shove my book in his face and make him read it and tell me how great it was. Then a few minutes later I'd have the insane urge to slam my laptop shut if he walked behind me.

And so it's been. I love JR to distraction, and that's exactly what he is. But it's all good. My pace has slowed, but I've managed to write twelve thousand words so far. I need at least four times that to even get in the ballpark of a normal novel length.

The biggest challenge for me has been battling my fear. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. My grammar skills and spelling suck. I have no formal training and no publisher connections. What keeps me writing is the enjoyment I'm getting from creating my own universe and the belief that I have a really good idea.

And what is my idea...?

Well I'm not ready to share that. I tried explaining it to JR and he got all glassy eyed on me. So I'm going to work on my book first then worry about how to describe it to people. Hopefully it's good enough I won't be doing much of that.

Pipe Dreams

I've fallen into a rut that sometimes happens with me. See, if nothing new or exciting has happened in my life I kinda drop of the radar. Meaning I forget to call my family or friends(or blog), cause I have nothing to say. It's bad because I should be calling them to see if they have anything to say. But alas, I figure if something's going on they'll let me know.

So nothing real big happening with me. Works fine, JR's great, Wedding Planning...is well, kinda halted at the moment. Not that I've lost interest, I just don't know what to do next. JR asked me a few days ago that now that we have our ceremony and reception site locked in what's next?

I didn't really have an answer for him. I mean I guess we should figure out the "mood" of the wedding and maybe our colors. But I sorta want to wait and see about a dress first. Of all the dresses I've looked at online I've found one that I love. But I need to see it in person and try it on. And I'm trying not to get my heart set on it in case it doesn't match the overall "theme" we end up choosing. But it is a great dress.

Two big reasons I've not run out to David's Bridal to try this dress on just for kicks. One, I promised sister that I'd go dress shopping with her when she comes to Michigan for Christmas.

Reason two being that I'm still trying to lose those last 10 or 15 pounds before I look for a dress. I'm not gonna be a bride who wants only the dress she'd look good in after she's lost 20 lbs. I want to try on a dress and be able to say "If I stay at this weight I'll still look great in this dress."

So I'm stalling, but I have been working out on a regular basis, and I haven't gained any weight like I feared I would when I moved to Toledo. On a side note: My gym is an all ladies gym but a few weeks ago they had a bake-sale. Not a "healthy snacks" bake sale, it was a full out temptation buffet. My thinking is that they either made a killing, or didn't sell a damn thing.

I for one thought it was cruel. My self control is pretty good nowadays, but a lot of the women at the gym have quite a ways to go before they can lose the obese status. I wish them the best, but it's gotta be hard when even your own gym is trying to get you to cheat.

Yup, life is pretty normal right now, which is good. I've started writing a book, on chapter six right now. I figured with all the money I sink into the publishing industry each month, I should take a shot at being an author myself.

I know it has a 0.01% chance of becoming anything, but I'm enjoying myself. And since it is a romance novel JR's going to help me with "research" every now and again. I don't hear him complaining.

On yet another side note. A friend blogged about some weird dreams she's been having lately. Well I too have been having some frightening dreams myself. Several nights(or days depending on my work schedule) a week for the past month I've been having dreams in which I'm pregnant.

I'm not, pregnant that is. But I'm wondering where this idea is coming from. Yes, I do want kids very much, but I sure as hell don't want them right now. It could be because I know several women who are pregnant or just had babies. The dreams also seem to occur on days that I go to the gym.

To explain, almost every time I go to the gym I see at least one pregnant woman there. Usually it's the same three or four women. It always bothers me to see them because they are VERY pregnant, but in obviously better shape than me. One of them even uses the dumbells.

Now, I'm no expert but it seems to me that these women shouldn't be straining themselves so much. When a 7 month pregnant lady can out pace me on the treadmill I worry about the fetus's health. I'm sure a light workout is great for both mom and baby, but these ladies seem obsessed. I could be wrong.

SMFAT

Not it's not a new diet supplement, or ghetto lingo. It's more along the lines of LOL and BRB. SMFAT, or in laymen terms; Shaking My Fist At Technology, is just what I feel like doing lately.
Actually I've had the urge for quite some time now.

I remember a quote from one of the more recent Bond movies where the villain asks one of his tech guys how the new computer software was coming along. The tech guys response was "As requested, it's full of bugs, which means that people will have to upgrade for years."

Seems villainous, but sadly very possible that the computer geniuses of the world are having a big laugh at our expense. Why else would they make it so every two or three weeks you have to download some new flash player, or security upgrade just to view a website or run a game you bought?

And why then after you download said upgrades your computer suddenly starts taking a crap? Not shutting down, adding files that can never be erased and occasionally crashing your PC. It's impossible to know who and what programs to trust, even from mainstream companies. And if you do trust them, is it best for YOUR computer to listen to them.

It's no wonder my mother thinks I'm a computer wiz just because I know how to use keyboard short-cuts. Because when she buys a new security system for her computer and the Geek Squad can't even get it to work, it puts into relief how un-computer savvy the average person is.

I mean could you tell me at this very moment how much free RAM you have, or what your Video and Sound cards are? I sure as hell couldn't, and I consider myself to be moderately computer savvy.

In fact I used to be a pro with computers. Back in High School when Windows 96 was brand new. I had a computer geek for a best friend and learning to navigate Windows was ridiculously easy. But then Windows 98 came along and I no longer had the patience to sit for hours on end and dick around with the ins and outs of the system.

And so it continues. The bigger and better that technology gets, the lazier and stupider I get about it. I'm SMFAT and next time I get a pop-up telling me upgrades are available, I'm going to seriously consider saying no, maybe, unless the pop-up says I really need it.