Happy Anniversary...
to me!
Well, not really. Hard to believe that it was only a year ago that I moved to Toledo. But here I am, one year later. Looking back it hasn't been all that bad, but it hasn't been good either.
Living with JR for the first time has been the ultimate test of our relationship, and I'm happy to say we've passed with flying colors. I think being together has only improved our bond and made us an unstoppable force. We were always good together, but now we're FANTASTIC.
Maybe that explains why other areas of my life feel so lacking.. it seems I can't have it both ways. I can't be with the man I love and be content with everything else. For so long I was focused only on finding a way to be with JR. I used to swear I would do ANYTHING to be with him more. Now that I've accomplished that, I feel as though I may have sold my soul to the devil.. dramatic yes, but so is my declining mental health.
Right now, I'm just trying to survive day by day that I sometimes miss the great moments with my man. What good is being with him if I can't enjoy him?
As I see it there are several acceptable ways out of my situation.. and I'd really rather not speak them aloud (or type) just yet. Another option.. we could just pack up and move back to Michigan and be with our friends and family... but at what cost? There are no jobs for JR and I can't support us.
So the real question I ask myself everyday.. is all the bullshit I face everyday worth the being able to live with JR in a fashion we've become accustomed to? Or is the price just too high? Right now the scales are balanced in favor of keeping the status quo.. but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. I'm so close to breaking it's not even funny.
But I will let everything go if my mental state starts to impact the peace and happiness I've found with JR.. I will NOT sacrifice my relationship with him. And anyone who thinks he shouldn't be my top priority can just FUCK OFF! (sorry that got a little violent at the end, but I've felt backed into a corner lately.)
Score card: (Grade on left from last year.. on right is current grades)
Romance: B-/A+
Body: B-/B
Home: F/A
Social Standing: A-/C
Job: B/D+
You tell me if you think it's worth it? What's the most important element in your life? Has that changed from a year ago?
P.S. i finally figured out my stupid password!
Well, not really. Hard to believe that it was only a year ago that I moved to Toledo. But here I am, one year later. Looking back it hasn't been all that bad, but it hasn't been good either.
Living with JR for the first time has been the ultimate test of our relationship, and I'm happy to say we've passed with flying colors. I think being together has only improved our bond and made us an unstoppable force. We were always good together, but now we're FANTASTIC.
Maybe that explains why other areas of my life feel so lacking.. it seems I can't have it both ways. I can't be with the man I love and be content with everything else. For so long I was focused only on finding a way to be with JR. I used to swear I would do ANYTHING to be with him more. Now that I've accomplished that, I feel as though I may have sold my soul to the devil.. dramatic yes, but so is my declining mental health.
Right now, I'm just trying to survive day by day that I sometimes miss the great moments with my man. What good is being with him if I can't enjoy him?
As I see it there are several acceptable ways out of my situation.. and I'd really rather not speak them aloud (or type) just yet. Another option.. we could just pack up and move back to Michigan and be with our friends and family... but at what cost? There are no jobs for JR and I can't support us.
So the real question I ask myself everyday.. is all the bullshit I face everyday worth the being able to live with JR in a fashion we've become accustomed to? Or is the price just too high? Right now the scales are balanced in favor of keeping the status quo.. but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. I'm so close to breaking it's not even funny.
But I will let everything go if my mental state starts to impact the peace and happiness I've found with JR.. I will NOT sacrifice my relationship with him. And anyone who thinks he shouldn't be my top priority can just FUCK OFF! (sorry that got a little violent at the end, but I've felt backed into a corner lately.)
Score card: (Grade on left from last year.. on right is current grades)
Romance: B-/A+
Body: B-/B
Home: F/A
Social Standing: A-/C
Job: B/D+
You tell me if you think it's worth it? What's the most important element in your life? Has that changed from a year ago?
P.S. i finally figured out my stupid password!
posted by SassyJill at 2:37 PM
1 Comments:
First, (don't tell me to fuck off ;) it really bugs me that you only use two periods for an ellipses instead of three. Fix that, will ya? (yeah, yeah, always the critical big sis)
But, in terms of the matter at hand I am clearly the wrong person to ask since, you know, romance is not really something I'm very knowledgeable about at the moment (although calling me a prude? Seriously? Unless, if by prudish you mean "not a whore" - in that case I'll take that label)... and I always seem to put that last in my life. BUT, I absolutely think it should be first and that your relationship with JR should be the most important thing. That said, there is the job issue, which is huge. No, I don't mean your job - you can up and quit tomorrow for all I care... But JR really can't given his limited options elsewhere - or at least in Michigan. Now, I can send you more options for him in the great state of Florida - and I have connections for you as well - but I got shot down cold that last time I did that. So, I'm all for you guys getting the heck out of dodge, but you will need a plan.
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