Tonight at 11
How do you know when someone's sincere about friendship?
Since I was a little, girls have been making me their "project." It started on the playground in 4th grade when a "cool" girl decided she'd take me under her wing. She made me one of her group and for about half a day I walked around the swing sets with her and the other popular girls. She was nice, I think she thought she was doing me a favor, but I'd rather play by myself than do a follow-the-leader dance with the "in" crowd. So that didn't last.
I stayed firmly in my dorkdom until High School when I once again became a "project." The girl this time was cruel and gained power by putting me down and using my secrets for her own gain.
By College I was a little wiser, but not immune. Roommates looked at my lack of fashion sense with pity. I was the recipient of more makeovers than I care to remember. I don't mind being guided into good taste, if I agree with it. But too often I'd end up looking freakish and fake.
Despite the fact that many girls over the years have felt the need to "help" me, I somehow managed to snag a man. A very good-looking man I might add. Who likes me the way I am.
Now that I'm a working girl I thought my "project" days were over. Apparently I was wrong.
Lately the main female anchor and I have been getting closer. We both blog on MySpace and I've shot some stuff for her sweeps pieces in my free time. More and more she goes out for a smoke with me when I get to work. And now she's offering to lend me shoes and a purse for the wedding this weekend. Her offer went something like this:
Anchor Lady: "Wear the Green dress."
Me: "I most likely will"
AL: "I don't like those shoes though, what size do you wear."
Me: "umm, around a 9 I think."
AL: "Good, you're wearing a pair of mine."
Me: "errr, umm, thanks?"
AL: "Oh, and I have a purse too."
Ok, so the conversation was a bit longer but you get the point. Now to explain, this woman has been fairly nice to me but has been cold before. So what's with the turn around? I may be over thinking her actions but I can't shake the dread that follows when someone decides to "take me under their wing." It's never good and I usually end up hurt and disappointed when they lose interest in me. Plus, I don't really want to change, I'm mostly happy with who I am and the way I look. So one could argue that real friends wouldn't try to change me.
However, more and more I've realized that a good 90% of my friends are really my boyfriends'. I have very very few people in my life that met and liked me first. So I am kinda desperate for a few friends of my own. ::sigh:: I'll take the shoes, but I'm walking very cautiously in them and around this woman. But I hope both will end up being a good thing.
Since I was a little, girls have been making me their "project." It started on the playground in 4th grade when a "cool" girl decided she'd take me under her wing. She made me one of her group and for about half a day I walked around the swing sets with her and the other popular girls. She was nice, I think she thought she was doing me a favor, but I'd rather play by myself than do a follow-the-leader dance with the "in" crowd. So that didn't last.
I stayed firmly in my dorkdom until High School when I once again became a "project." The girl this time was cruel and gained power by putting me down and using my secrets for her own gain.
By College I was a little wiser, but not immune. Roommates looked at my lack of fashion sense with pity. I was the recipient of more makeovers than I care to remember. I don't mind being guided into good taste, if I agree with it. But too often I'd end up looking freakish and fake.
Despite the fact that many girls over the years have felt the need to "help" me, I somehow managed to snag a man. A very good-looking man I might add. Who likes me the way I am.
Now that I'm a working girl I thought my "project" days were over. Apparently I was wrong.
Lately the main female anchor and I have been getting closer. We both blog on MySpace and I've shot some stuff for her sweeps pieces in my free time. More and more she goes out for a smoke with me when I get to work. And now she's offering to lend me shoes and a purse for the wedding this weekend. Her offer went something like this:
Anchor Lady: "Wear the Green dress."
Me: "I most likely will"
AL: "I don't like those shoes though, what size do you wear."
Me: "umm, around a 9 I think."
AL: "Good, you're wearing a pair of mine."
Me: "errr, umm, thanks?"
AL: "Oh, and I have a purse too."
Ok, so the conversation was a bit longer but you get the point. Now to explain, this woman has been fairly nice to me but has been cold before. So what's with the turn around? I may be over thinking her actions but I can't shake the dread that follows when someone decides to "take me under their wing." It's never good and I usually end up hurt and disappointed when they lose interest in me. Plus, I don't really want to change, I'm mostly happy with who I am and the way I look. So one could argue that real friends wouldn't try to change me.
However, more and more I've realized that a good 90% of my friends are really my boyfriends'. I have very very few people in my life that met and liked me first. So I am kinda desperate for a few friends of my own. ::sigh:: I'll take the shoes, but I'm walking very cautiously in them and around this woman. But I hope both will end up being a good thing.
posted by SassyJill at 5:41 PM
1 Comments:
Okay, so I know we have different fashion tastes so please excuse me if I've ever made you feel like one of my projects when I've given you my fashion advice. If I did that, I totally didn't mean to. That said, I DO like the shoes you're wearing in the green dress photo (but I don't like the shoes you're wearing in the other dress photo). Wear AL's shoes if you want, but really it comes down to you doing whatever makes you feel comfy.
Post a Comment
<< Home