It has arrived!

I have sitting next to me an object I have been anxiously awaiting for months. It's hard and thick and I get really worked up when I think of having my hands all over it. That's right folks I've got a new book.

But not just any new book, it's Sherrilyn Kenyon's latest novel in her Dark Hunter series. These immortal bad boys really get my blood going. I've always been a sucker for a good romance novel, but throw some vampires, gods, and tons of steamy sex into the mix and I'm a goner.
I feel bad for those who have to work with me tonight because I doubt my mind will be focused on making sure video matches the story. My nose will be so far buried into this book you could probably strip naked and do the chicken dance for me and I'd never know, BTW, please don't.

One reason I'm so happy about this book is because I KNOW I will enjoy it. Much to my delight the supernatural romance genre is becoming more popular each day. More and more authors are writing tales of blood and sex and love. Unfortunately, not all of these new authors are good. In the past month I've given up and at least 3 or 4 books because they were either bad stories (alien vampires who get power from the moon?) or written so poorly I couldn't take it anymore.

It's a risk I'm willing to take if it means I get some kinky fang action. I was weaned on Sherrilyn and she will always be the model to which I compare all other paranormal romance writers. I'm a little peeved that this latest book was released in hardback first meaning I'm paying at least $10 more than I would have in the past. But hell, the whole world is about money anyway and she's worth it.

I'm so happy ::sigh::



www.dark-hunter.com

Beyond Pale

Summer must be here if my half-Japanese co-worker is getting sunburned. I feel for her, I really do. I myself have been caught unawares many times in the past when it comes to the sun. But I mean honestly, who expects to get a sunburn in February?

I've been stupid plenty of times too. For some reason every couple of years I forget that I'm freakishly pale and don't take the necessary precautions. For instance, last year. First time outside for months, it’s June I think, and not a cloud in sight. I tried to stay mostly in the shade but wasn't overly concerned so forgot the sunblock.

Later that day I ended up looking like "Love-a-Lot Bear." Apparently a V-neck tank and a chin shadow will create a perfect heart shape on my chest like a Care Bear. To this day if I get overheated I can see a faint outline of the burn, talk about skin damage.

In Hawaii a few years back I burned my ass snorkeling, how dumb is that? When JR and I would sit on the beach together it was like a silent comedy. Every couple of minutes he'd get up and drag my chair back under the shade of the umbrella then go bask in the sunshine while I huddled covered up.

I've tried tanning but the most I ever got was freckles. I do think it helped prevent me from burns, but I have no proof. The truth is I'm not meant to be tan. Which is a fact I think I'm finally coming to terms with. My goal now is to go "super-white" and embrace the whole Victorian vampire look. I mean hell; I'm practically a vampire anyway with my work schedule. This makes the Sun my nemesis and those dreaded freckles my anti-Christ. It may be difficult to uphold my goal this weekend since I'm planning a trip to Cedar Point, thank you free Media tickets. But the plan is to slather every exposed inch in a nice gooey SPF 45, or higher, and dart into the shade at every possible moment. Wish me luck for overcast skies and short lines!

Alone in the woods, together forever

He finally did it! My boyfriend proposed this weekend!!! Since than I've had a difficult time trying to put JR's proposal into words. I have started writing several times only to delete everything and log off. The shock of this day arriving has yet to wear off, but I do think it's finally sinking in.

For me it's like being Sisyphus rolling that boulder uphill for years and suddenly reaching the top. I knew the peak was coming but not at that particular moment. It kinda threw me off balance and has left me looking at the world with a greater range of vision. And god, what an amazing view.

The best way to approach this is to share a little history. JR and I were introduced by friends in January of 2000 at College. I'd had back luck in the past with being setup by well-intentioned buddies and was not real enthusiastic. My first thought upon seeing JR was, "Thank god he's not fat." My second thought was, "In fact he's pretty damn cute." And my third thought was, "Wow he's tall."

I did what I do best when meeting new people, I made an obnoxious ass of myself. When school started back up for Winter semester I kept thinking about him at odd times but thought he wouldn't want to see me again. He did though and our friends hooked us back up. We hit it off really well the second time.

Things progressed fairly rapidly after that and we became a loving couple. Once the weather got nicer we discovered that we liked to go to parks and for walks in the woods together. One place quickly became our favorite. It's a wooded park along a river in ou College town. The place has a wonderful mix of fields and forest with plenty of deer and other critters.

On one of our first trips out there we came across a tree on the river bank that had lots of carvings on it. I'm not sure who though of it but it was decided that we should have our initials on that tree as well. JR pulled out his ever-present pocket knife and went to work on a smooth patch high on the tree. I remember a lot of sweat and some swearing involved but the end result was romantic and I loved it. We've always called it "our tree" and tried to visit it several times a year.




Flash forward to Sunday.

JR and I were up in our old College town for a friend's wedding reception. We had a great time and I'll blog about that later. We'd checked out of our hotel, had lunch with his parents (we LOVE Asian food), and watched our friends open their wedding gifts. We were in no rush to leave just yet and JR suggested we go see "our tree." It had been a long time since we last went (although now I understand why he never really seemed to want to go.)

It was a little chilly and I wasn't crazy about the idea. JR said we didn't have to go but I really did want to see the tree. The wind was pretty brisk at first but the more we walked the less cold I felt. It was strange how the trail in the woods was wonderfully familiar in some places and other parts I couldn't recognize at all.

At one point JR stopped behind be and whispered for me to back up slowly. I made my way back to him and there was a deer standing about thirty feet away. When I saw it I must have gasped or made some noise because it picked up its head and bounced away. I was a little disappointed that I had scared it, but it was a great sight none the less.

Soon after that the sun started to randomly poke through the trees and I was more excited about being there. As we walked I kept wondering if the tree would still be there, in fact I was a little afraid it would have died or been cut down. When we had walked for longer than I though we should have I started losing faith. I was about to call it quits when the path started looking familiar and I saw "our tree" ahead.

JR helped me down the steep slope to get to the tree and we stood together and looked at the carving he had eked out six years ago, imperfect arrow and all. I reached up to touch a spot that had split down farther than the others and then turned back to JR. We hugged and he took my hand. For about a nanosecond I had an unformed thought in the back of my mind about the way he was looking at me, then he dropped to one knee.

Very simply and perfectly he asked me to marry him as he pulled out a ring box. I think my words went something like "areyouforrealyes." I kissed him, and kissed him some more, than I got on my knees and kept kissing him. Finally we pulled apart enough for him to ask me if this meant yes. I said yes again and a bunch of I love yous and then we kissed some more.

By then I hadn't even really seen the ring so I told him to show it to me and put it on. It was so beautiful I couldn't believe what a good job he did. Pretty sure we did some more kissing at this point. With the river gurgling behind us and birds singing I doubt Disney could have done it better.

What still amazes me about this all is the fact that I was completely in the dark. JR's such a terrible liar and I'm a snoop so I always thought I'd see it coming. In hindsight I should have guessed. It's so perfect for us to commit to a future together at that place. It's always been special and romantic for us and I'm so glad he thought of it when I hadn't. JR didn't just give me a gorgeous ring Sunday, he gave me the best proposal a girl could get.

I've been asked several times if I cried and my reply is that surprisingly no, I didn't. Giddy happiness was my main reaction, I grinned like an idiot for hours. But as I reread this all the tears have started to flow. Having the moment on record brings to life how momentous an occasion this is for me. The man of my dreams wants me to be his wife, and although I've always known that we would be together forever it doesn't make the "question" any less important to me. Thank you Baby, I love you.

Why Photog, Why?

People are always coming up to me and saying, "I think it's so great that as a woman you're tackling a male dominated field." Well it's bull folks. I'm not a female photog(video photographer) because I feel the need to break through any male/female traditional roles. The real reason I'm doing what I'm doing is because of luck and opportunity.

About a year before I was supposed to graduate from college I panicked. I knew I would get a job in broadcasting but that was about as detailed as my thought processes went. Music and radio really isn't my thing so I knew I'd go into the video side of Broadcasting. Even though I had a minor in Theater and had been involved in stage for many years, I knew I'd suck as talent so behind the scenes was it. Being flexible in a job location was another requirement. My boyfriend was studying Automotive Design so I knew he'd always make more money and I'd have to work wherever he got a job.

The final verdict was News, or at least a TV Station. So in my final year I threw myself into our college news station and hoped for the best. In a twist of fate, that year my boyfriend got a roommate who had graduated a few years before in broadcasting. This guy was in-between things and looking for a job. He got a job as a Photog for a FOX station. When graduation for me drew near the Fox Photog gave me a heads up on a part-time photog/editor job at his station. I applied, interviewed, and didn't get the job. At first anyway, twenty minutes after I was turned down I was called back and hired.

You must understand that when I got this job I had picked up a field camera maybe a dozen times and edited video on a computer less than 5 times. It was rough but I kept my head up. It quickly became obvious to me that editing was my strong suit. Me and Mr. DVC Pro had some issues in those first months. When they shut down our Fox station I jumped over to the NBC affiliate with a somewhat better grasp of what I was doing.

NBC was a disappointment to me. Even though they're the top station in the market they had the most outdated technology. They were still editing their video tape-to-tape (in TV terms this means slows as shit.) But thanks to a dedicated reporter I got my shooting up to a decent standard and was doing all right for myself. Eventually I went full time on overnights and my responsibilities shifted to mostly editing for the Morning Show.

A few months into working the overnights our station FINALLY got Avids(computers to edit video on.) I was so happy, and since I was just about the only person who had ever edited using that system, my personal stock went up. All the other Photogs were so glad I was on the overnight shift because most of them prefer shooting to editing. I'm the complete opposite so it works out great for everyone.

Except for one thing. I'm the only Photog here for 8 hours which means I have to edit a monster of a show, and be ready to shoot any breaking news. The pressure is really bad sometimes. Especially since somedays there is no one in the building who can edit video if I have to leave. Someday get out of control but I've always managed to get the show on-air somehow and that's why nothing will ever change here.

Tonight at 11

How do you know when someone's sincere about friendship?

Since I was a little, girls have been making me their "project." It started on the playground in 4th grade when a "cool" girl decided she'd take me under her wing. She made me one of her group and for about half a day I walked around the swing sets with her and the other popular girls. She was nice, I think she thought she was doing me a favor, but I'd rather play by myself than do a follow-the-leader dance with the "in" crowd. So that didn't last.

I stayed firmly in my dorkdom until High School when I once again became a "project." The girl this time was cruel and gained power by putting me down and using my secrets for her own gain.

By College I was a little wiser, but not immune. Roommates looked at my lack of fashion sense with pity. I was the recipient of more makeovers than I care to remember. I don't mind being guided into good taste, if I agree with it. But too often I'd end up looking freakish and fake.

Despite the fact that many girls over the years have felt the need to "help" me, I somehow managed to snag a man. A very good-looking man I might add. Who likes me the way I am.

Now that I'm a working girl I thought my "project" days were over. Apparently I was wrong.

Lately the main female anchor and I have been getting closer. We both blog on MySpace and I've shot some stuff for her sweeps pieces in my free time. More and more she goes out for a smoke with me when I get to work. And now she's offering to lend me shoes and a purse for the wedding this weekend. Her offer went something like this:

Anchor Lady: "Wear the Green dress."

Me: "I most likely will"

AL: "I don't like those shoes though, what size do you wear."

Me: "umm, around a 9 I think."

AL: "Good, you're wearing a pair of mine."

Me: "errr, umm, thanks?"

AL: "Oh, and I have a purse too."


Ok, so the conversation was a bit longer but you get the point. Now to explain, this woman has been fairly nice to me but has been cold before. So what's with the turn around? I may be over thinking her actions but I can't shake the dread that follows when someone decides to "take me under their wing." It's never good and I usually end up hurt and disappointed when they lose interest in me. Plus, I don't really want to change, I'm mostly happy with who I am and the way I look. So one could argue that real friends wouldn't try to change me.

However, more and more I've realized that a good 90% of my friends are really my boyfriends'. I have very very few people in my life that met and liked me first. So I am kinda desperate for a few friends of my own. ::sigh:: I'll take the shoes, but I'm walking very cautiously in them and around this woman. But I hope both will end up being a good thing.

Just some more bitching

One good thing about blogging here is now I can bitch about people and things I can't on MySpace. So this is my first ever "not going on MySpace" blog.

First I would like to say, I live with my parents. Whew, there that's out in the open. I never mention it on MySpace because it seems totally lame and I don't want people from way back to know that fact. I feel semi-successful and I don't wanna blow the image by saying, "yup, been living at home for the past two year." I'm 24 for god's sake.

That said, it's very very hard to live with your parents when you reach my age. For one, not only do I live with my folks, but they live in BFE. It's an hour to work, an hour to my boyfriends, and 20 minutes to the nearest bookstore. I can usually escape on weekends and go see my boyfriend. However this means I never hang out with work friends, and as much as I love seeing my man he just moved to Ohio and we have no friends there, so it can get tedious.

Secondly, my parents don't really like that I run south of the border each weekend and they give me huge guilt trips about it. Calling me their "transient" and pouting when I walk out the door each week. But what do they (by they I mean my Mom) think I'm going to do if I stay? Like I said my work friends are all an hour away so meeting to go to the bar is out, can't drink much, and I'm not cozy enough with them to ask to use their couch.

So I sit at my parents house and read or go online. I can't drink at home, Mom's not so crazy about that, and I for sure can't smoke (yeah, another secret to hide.) I either find some excuse to go to the mall (20 minutes away) or I avoid them at all costs. Well, I do that during the week too, but I can tolerate it better knowing I'm leaving Friday.

But it's hard. I work third shift so when I get home Mom's just getting up. And she always wants to talk. We've even had fights over how I don't talk in the morning, so now I'm expected to "check-in" with her when I get home. Why can't she understand that I just want to relax and have alone time when I get home? I just drove an hour through rush hour traffic after staying awake all night. Even if I don't want to go to bed right away I need some time to let work wear off me before I feel like conversing. Dinner time is perfect for me sharing how my day went, but it's not soon enough I guess. So when I come home I say "Hi," run upstairs, and close my door. This has been great for losing weight because even if I'm hungry I don't want to risk getting trapped into conversation if I linger downstairs too long.

I'm extremely grateful to my folks for letting me have a place to stay 'rent-free,' but it was never supposed to be for this long. Which lead me to another topic I can't discuss on MySpace. My boyfriend and I graduated college back in 2004. I got a job the week I graduated, he did not. His plan was to wait a week or so after Graduation to start applying for a job, so he could have some "him" time. Yes, I agree, what a stupid ass idea! Needless to say for a year and a half after that he couldn't get a job. There's much debate over how hard he tried, but that's for another day.

So during this year and a half I'm living with my folks, making a long commute, and on top of that driving 2 hours to see him on weekends(he lived farther away than.) Our phone conversations were not very good. I spent most of them riding his ass about a job, and he spent the whole time in silence or telling me how worthless he felt. So then I'd have to say "no honey, you'll get there someday," all the while feeling like he was indeed worthless. I had finally talked him into getting a temporary job in the same city as me and we'd get a place and continue looking for his career job from there.

I thought "Yea, finally we can have a real relationship instead of this long distance crap." But oddly enough about a week after this "moving-in-together" talk he got a call for an interview in Ohio. I was really excited, but also suspicious. Now he all of a sudden is getting interviews? Guess he finally realized it was time for change. So he gets the job and moves to Ohio, great, but 7 months later I'm still living with my folks.

I have been looking for jobs in Ohio, daily, but I've been picky. Mainly because I've made promises to myself that there are certain types of jobs I will never do again. And even though I have a B.A., getting a good enough paying job isn't easy. I really want to stick in TV, but I no longer want to be a Photographer. This causes a problem because I'm now way over qualified to do the Production jobs so I keep getting offers to be a Photographer. There is no way in hell I am running around chasing fires and criminals again. I do it now, but not very often since I mainly edit video, which is something I love doing. Basically I have limited options for a job in a specific city and it's hurting my search.

However, I would gladly drop everything and get a job as a secretary if my man would just propose. But after six years, I'm still ring-less. Some of us girls at work have created the PEC (Pre-engagement Club) since we all have long-term boyfriends who live in another state. He says he's not waiting for me to move down there, although it's not a bad idea for us to live together first anyway. He also loves saying "don't worry about it" like he's got something all planned out and can't understand my anxiety.

Well I'm not in his head and I'm sick of people asking us when it's gonna happen. I'm tired of Mom giving me the whole "why would he buy the cow when the milk's free" analogy (BTW thanks a lot for calling me a cow Mom.) And frankly I'm starting to doubt him. Is he just putting me off because he's scared of sharing his life, or is he not sure about me anymore. He gets really annoyed when I bring it up, but c'mon I'm frustrated. I told him he doesn't need a ring and I'll even ask him if that's what he wants, but he says "no," argggg.

So I feel trapped. Trapped by my parents, trapped by my boyfriend, trapped by myself, and trapped at the thought of giving up my health insurance. I want to be an Adult, I really do, but I need something to happen, and fast.

Real News, Real Faces

I'm really pissed off right now. On my way home from work I was listening to several morning radio programs. My favorite is usually Bob and Tom in the Morning, but when they go to commercial I flip stations, kinda like when watching TV.

Well I flipped to K105.3, which plays mostly up-to-date songs without going into the "I capped a Hoe last night for not going down" type of stuff. Just to catch the morning guy ripping into local News Anchors.

He was saying that there are no "hot" Anchors/Reporters in Lansing. One lady who called in thought Colthorp was kinda cute but couldn't think of any female hotties. The radio DJ's then started tearing apart my co-workers.

They named names of women I see and work with daily calling them "gross" and "disgusting" and "wouldn't touch that." They even called some of the guys "wax figures" and "fatty."

Who the fuck does a guy who calls himself "The Big Dog" think he is?! This is his picture and trust me you couldn't pay me enough to go near that slob.




The only local Anchor they found mildly attractive was the "girl on 53." Well no shit she seemed the best. She acts like she's still in college and is basically a joke. If you want your news from "hotties" than watch the E Network. You can look at fake bimbos in skimpy outfits while they tell you about Paris Hilton's latest shopping trip. If you want serious journalism then you respect poise and maturity.

I know first hand that the majority of the female talent at my station are a good-looking bunch. And I felt every insult they hurled like a punch to my gut. These are great people, who are just that, people. None of them are Prima Donnas who are in the biz to look cute on TV. They generally care about News and being perceived as credible. So excuse them for not sluting it up Mr. Big Dog.
As the sexiest Anchor in Lansing would say "K105.3, fucking done!"

Vote Now!

Please, I need help people! I had a very upsetting day of shopping Saturday. Well, for me any time I spend not shopping for books is upsetting. But it was worse than usual. You'd think since I've lost all this weight finding clothes would be easy, right? We'll you'd be sorely mistaken!

What kind of sick Universe do we live in that 2 years ago every store I went to only stocked two sizes; tiny, and eat a fucking sandwich already! Flash forward to yesterday and the only two sizes stores stocked were; you have no chest and, I make JLo's ass look small.

I never ever thought I'd be complaining because stores don't have a size small enough for me. Actually most do carry sizes to fit me but it's the same size that the rest of the world buys so apparently they're all sold out.

Well finally after several frantic phone calls to friends and my sister, (not to mention the mashed Potatoes mishap) in my hour of need I stumbled upon success. Thank you Maurices. But now I have a dilemma, a different one from my hair.

My picture is two outfits which I love, and happened to have been on sale. I'm keeping them and will wear them both at some point but I need advice. I have a wedding reception I'm going to this upcoming weekend and I can't decide which one to wear.

The actual wedding took place several months ago and this is just the reception. The Bride is wearing part of her dress and the Groomsmen (Jeremy included) are wearing bowling shirts and slacks. I was told it's a fairly casual affair although it will be at a Hall and we're going to the bar afterwards.

So please, I need to know which one is more appropriate! It's not which one looks better because I think I look good in both, but please HELP!!

P.S. I know I'm a huge dork for taking Photos of myself, but hey it worked in Clueless.

I'm Dying

First posted on MySpace on May 12th, 2006


Or not. Hell I dunno. The dilemma:

I've had gray hair since I was fifteen. Most noticeable when I part my hair down the center. It's still only a couple of strands here and there but it's the whole strand so if I get a flyaway it's obvious.

Usually I don't care much, I mean it's just hair right? But lately I've been feeling good about the way I look. I've lost weight, bought some good clothes, I'm taking care of my skin, and now it's my hair's turn I guess.

I hate spending money of appearance stuff since I don't consider it terribly important. I'd much rather blow a wad of cash on some books or movies. Keeping in line with my cheapness, I always color my hair myself. And when I say always I mean like maybe once a year. So I feel like it's "that" time of year again. Especially since my hair was reflecting silver light today in my bathroom mirror.

I like to go dark, I was born with almost jet-black hair, and I think it looks exotic with my pale skin. Others would disagree, like my mother for one. Which is why the hair dye I bought two months ago is sitting in a drawer and not on my head. It's Dark Brown, which Mom thinks is way too dark.

I dunno why I give a damn what she thinks but every time I mention I'm going dye my hair she gets this pained expression like I'm committing some fashion sin, as if she's one to talk. I can never bring myself to say, "screw your opinion" and just do it. And so here I sit, old lady hair and all.

But I may change that this weekend. I mean I will eventually breakdown and dye my hair some color to hide the gray but I don't know if I should do it this weekend or wait a few more weeks. See, I'm going to a wedding reception next weekend and I really want to look good since I hardly ever see these people and I'm gonna want a lot of pictures.

The risk is that maybe my Mom's right and I'll look really strange. So is a week enough time to let a bad color fade if I don't like it, and at the same time if I do like it will it last? I mean it's a permanent dye, but my hair is fine and doesn't hold anything well, plus our water is softened so it'll fade the color more quickly than city water.

Oy, what to do what to do? I won't even get into the debate of whether to get a haircut or not. God, that's like a twice a year ordeal for me and it's only been a few months. But it's getting to the point where I'd rather wear it up and that gives me headaches after awhile ::sigh::

Well anyway, guess I'm all Blogged out. Which is fine, although it's National Limerick Day so I'll leave you with a little ditty I once heard:

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose thumb was sore so he sucked it,
As he looked at his shin,
He said with a grin,
If I had a Frisbee I could play some disc-golf.

Hmm, that didn't seem quite right. Seems like it was missing something, oh that's right, all the dirty parts. Well whatcha expect sicko, some members of my family read this blog... geez!

My head hurts.

First posted on MySpace on May 11th, 2006


If I knew a kid learning how to drive my advice would be to get Cruise Control and always set it five below the speed limit. A normal teenager would say, "Well of course," and than walk off thinking I was the biggest fuddy duddy in the world. But if they were curious they might ask "why do you say that?"

Well for several reasons my young Padawan. First, you'll never get a speeding ticket. No longer will you get that fist clutching at your heart reaction when you see a State Trooper's car hidden in the bushes, with his lights off, waiting silently like a Panther stalking its prey...

Secondly, the world goes by slower giving you time to see scenery you may have otherwise missed. Also gives you better chance to avoid any accidents or small furry creature.

Unfortunately does nothing about the damn Deer. They're dumb as shit and there's nothing you can do once they want to kill themselves, via your new car of course.

If I sound incredibly lame, wait it gets so much better.

Third reason is calmness. For some reason driving just a few MPHs under the limit lowers stress level, for me anyway. If you're already late, and you're speeding, your blood pressure is only gonna go up so stay off my ASS buddy!

The last and most important reason is money. That's right, I hit you where it counts didn't I? Take me for instance, and yes I'm going to do math now. I drive 94 miles each day to and from work 4 days a week. That means:

94 x 4 = 376

Plus most Fridays I leave from work in Lansing and drive to Toledo (Sunday I drive back to work) which makes it a 216 miles round trip.

376 x 216 = 592

I'll round that up to 600 since I like round numbers, they're much prettier. So I drive 600 miles a week on average. Most of that is freeway driving so let's be nice and say I get 30mpg on my tiny Ford Focus (Ha! Beat that Mr. I drive my Hummer half a mile to work out at the Gym guy.) Anyway, math:

600/30 = 20

So I use about 20 gallons of gas a week. Gas prices have been crazy lately so lets be nice again and say I spend an average of $2.85 per gallon. (Barring of course more Hurricanes or the Bush family wanting to buy the Prince of Saudi Arabia another Jet.)

20 x 2.85 = 57

Math gets easier from here. $57 of gas a week and there are how many weeks in a year people?

57 x 52 = 2964

That's right folks, I spend over $3000 in gas a year mostly to get to work and back. It's actually probably higher since we always take my car on trips because it gets better gas mileage. So if driving a little slower can save me a few bucks I'm all for it. In fact lets do some wild estimations on what my savings would be..... no? S'ok, I'm all Nerded out anyway. Point of my ramblings...

... um, well I think I had a point but hey, Happy National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day! Commonly known as the "but you don't look sick" day.

If a number has the letter "K" after it, it had better be Gold!

First posted on MySpace on May 10th, 2006


So my sister just ran a 15K for like the second or third time in her life. Disney has this cool Marathon thing where you run through the parks. You can do a full Marathon or the "Minnie" Marathon. My sister did the "Minnie" one which sounds oh so cute but I'm sure is still hell.

Now, in High School my sister was on the track team. My Father also used to be a cross country runner. But no one in our Family pushed Sports on us. I think it's odd she chose to run marathons at this point in her life since she lost a toenail last time and has Asthma.

But she must like something about it. I gotta give her props for keeping in shape and having a healthy heart.... blah blah blah. However, I'd like to know where my real family is?

Ok, I know I'm mostly my Mother's daughter. Although she thinks I'm an Alien since I hate shopping and can live without chocolate. But what kind of freaks of nature are my Dad and Sister?

My Dad's side of the family is slightly more active than my Mother's but still, we are not people who move a lot. That could explain the rampant overweightness in my genetic pool, but c'mon, marathons? That is so not us. So either I am an Alien, or I got all the lazy genes because I could never image running that many miles without a bear or a swarm of bees chasing me. And I really don't understand why you'd do it in front of others.

I don't mind exercise, true I could use more cardio in my workouts. It's like cleaning for me. For some reason I can't clean with people watching me, don't like criticism I guess. I've tried gyms, but I lose my enthusiasm quickly when I see a size 2 girl hardly breaking a sweat chit-chatting with some hot guy. It just feels so cosmically unfair. No matter how hard I bust my ass there are certain things that only surgery can change about me, and even than my build would stay about the same. And here is some little thing who doesn't even need to workout but comes to the gym to show off and socialize ::sigh::

So I'm proud of Sis for achieving her goals, even if I don't understand them. I've posted her post-race picture on my page.

LOST on Earth 2

First posted on MySpace on May 9th, 2006


As you can see from my last Blog I'm currently watching Earth 2. It's a show most people have never heard of. It was on NBC briefly for about 20 episodes in the mid-90's. I loved it back then and got the DVD for Christmas from my man. I watch two episodes a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I do my more vigorous workouts.

Thursday I was shocked when a new character was introduced. It was LOCKE! As in Terry O'Quinn. When I first saw LOST he seemed so familiar, and oddly evil. I have no idea why I never liked him much until now. He plays a not so good guy on Earth 2 and my subconscious knew it.

The LOST connection to a show from a decade ago doesn't end there. Clancy Brown who plays John Danziger on Earth 2 was recently in a LOST episode. He was in the Sayid episode where he learns to torture. You may remember him as the American General guy who lets Sayid go in the end.

The premise of the show is basically a group from the future needs to go to a new planet because the kids are all getting sick living in the space stations and Earth is not an option. So the group strikes out for "Earth 2", yeah they actually called it that. But they crash into the planet instead. At first they think they're alone but soon discover "Beings" on the planet who are very mysterious. They also discover that although they think they're the first humans on the planet they're not. A penal colony was sent there 15 years earlier by the very government who planned the crash of their spaceship (this is where Locke comes in.)

The whole thing stinks of LOST. Maybe that's why I like both shows so much. I'm excited to see what else matches.

Call me Powder

First posted on MySpace on May 3rd, 2006


I'm bummed. I found some great deals on summer shorts this weekend. I spent more money than I usually do, figuring since I've dropped a few sizes since I last bought shorts I should get some that fit.

I really hate wearing shorts. For instance when I lived in Florida I only wore shorts a dozen times or so. It's not the cellulite I mind so much.. most women have that, it's my freakish whiteness. I'm very pale and besides my ass, my thighs are the whitest part of my body.

"Just go tanning," I'm often told. Well I have, and it's a no-go. My thighs burn if they do anything at all. I've tried self tanners, also no good. My skin absorbs different amounts in different places and gets blotchy.

Anyway, so I bought some shorts in a size that I can honestly say I've never been able to buy before. That is probably the main reason I went ahead and got them. I was super geeked to be wearing such a small size for me. My disappointment came when I got home and compared my new clothes to ones I had which were two sizes larger. The waist bands looked like they were the damn size!

I put on my old shorts and yes the legs and ass were too big but the waist was about the same. So either they shrunk after being washed so many times, or the clothing industry has changed their sizing charts to make fat people feel like buying more clothes.

I glad that I can walk into most stores now and almost always find clothes that fit, but I also feel cheated since I guess I'm not as small as I thought.

We'll put a boot in your ASS!

First Posted on MySpace on May 1st, 2006


My Boyfriend and I went to see "United 93" Sunday. Like most people who saw it, the film took me back in time to the events of 9/11. For my generation I image that day is similar to my parent's "where were you when Kennedy was shot?" I think I will always remember certain moments from that day.

I woke up about a quarter after 10am to get ready for my German class at 11. I turned on the weather channel as always. They said something really strange about all the airports being shut down. Curious I switched over to CNN to see a giant skyscraper burning. I most note that at this point in my life I couldn't have picked out the World Trade Center from a line-up. I simply thought all buildings in New York were of similar height. I for sure didn't realize there were two identical buildings and one was missing from my TV screen.

I went out to the living room and saw my roommate Amy huddled in front of the TV. I sat next to her and watched as they reported on a fire at the Pentagon, conflicting reports about bombs and at least two more airplanes being hijacked. It was all very confusing. I don't think my brain was keeping track of everything properly.

When they replayed video of the second plane hitting the south tower my mind went numb. I think the makers of "United 93" nailed this moment and people's reaction perfectly. I felt like I was living that scene all over.

The second tower fell and Amy went hysterical. She was screaming at the TV and sobbing. I was thinking "why is she so upset? I'm sure they got everyone out... they had to of." Even seeing the horror with my own eyes I refused to believe that I had just witnessed the death of hundreds.



Even during the chaos that morning and the following days, the importance of a plane crashing in a field in Pennsylvania was always secondary at best. The terrorists never reached their target and the death of those on board is usually downplayed.

I wouldn't say "United 93" is a good movie, it's more a thoughtful reenactment. I'm not sure which parts are fact, and which are simply assumptions on what could have happened. The movie pulled some punches but mostly was ruthless in showing both the ineptitude and heroism from those directly involved that day.

That plane and those people are perfect movie fodder, sans happy ending. They will do other movies about 9/11, there are probably a thousand stories to be told. But this story translates best for a nation still at war.

I'd like to think in the beginning that someone took a stand against terrorism. Even if it failed.. it gives me comfort. Lately I feel as though this country is falling apart and those in power (either party) can't tell their elbows from their assholes. I don't think I'll ever feel safer than I did on September 10th, 2001.

Is it too soon for this movie? My answer is no, it should be played every September 11th on Network television.


September 11th, 2001

8:45am - American Airlines Flight 11, Boston to Los Angeles with 92 people onboard, crashes into the north tower of the World Trade Center in New York City.

9:03am- United Airlines Flight 175, Boston to Los Angeles with 65 people onboard, flies into the south tower of the World Trade Center.

9:40am- American Flight 77, en route from Dulles Airport, Washington DC, to Los Angeles with 64 people onboard, crashes into the Pentagon.

9:50am- South tower of the World Trade Center collapses.

10:00am- United Flight 93 crashes about 80 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

10:29am- North tower of the World Trade Center collapses.

Kill Boone again why don't ya?

First posted on Myspace on April 26th, 2006


I'm so not a happy camper right now. Once agian the morons at ABC decided to do ANOTHER damn recap episode of LOST.

The must really think very little of their viewers to think we'll eat up anything LOST related? The reruns are bad enough, but this recap bullshit is worse 'cause the episode guide doesn't say it's a rerun. This means instead of sleeping I stayed awake hoping for a new epi.

You'd think an Emmy winning show could put out more than two or three new episodes at a time. But noooooo... ABC is just gonna milk every drop out of this show until they kill it. I've already given up on Desperate Housewives because of the rerun shit, LOST isn't doing well in my book either.

Wish I had a Tivo right now, so I could still sleep and not be so pissed when I don't get my LOST fix. Although the show isn't nearly as good as last season. Maybe it'll kill itself.

6th Grade

First posted on MySpace on April 17th, 2006


When I was twelve years old I liked Disney movies, watching Blossom, and playing with my Barbies.

My little cousin has just turned twelve and she likes push-up bras, high-heel sandals, and designer Dooney and Bourke purses.

I cannot relate at all. When I was in my pre-teen years I was just that, a PRE-teen. My older sister was my idol and I wasn't very aware of the trends going on around me. Looking at my baby cousin now I half expect her to jump into a car a drive away. I'm not sure if she is growing up too fast, or if I've gotten too old.

I never aspired to be the most popular, or push the boundaries my parents set for me. But my Aunt seems hell bent on making her daughter the leader of the pack. Why else would a mother allow an elementary student to own several purses that cost more than I make a week? Who in their right mind takes a child to a Black Eyed Peas concert?! And please tell me why the girl is allowed to dress like Paris Hilton?

My Aunt isn't a bad parent overall but I'm deeply disturbed and upset. I don't want my cousin to become superficial and lose sight of what is important in life. At the same time I'm afraid of being a buzz kill on what could very well be normal behavior for the youth of America today.

More Magical Memories

First Posted on Myspace on April 12th, 2006


Every once in awhile a story comes on the news about a Disney character inappropriately touching some kid at a theme park, i.e. Tigger. I'm always conflicted over what the truth is in these cases.

For instance I know how difficult it is for the people inside the costumes to "feel" through the bulky gloves they wear. Disney actually trains it's cast members how to sign different autographs while wearing the "paws." I knew a guy who played Friar Tuck who had a hell of a time writing the letter "T" in cursive. My only hope is that the little ones whose books he signed can't tell the difference between a "T" and a "F" either.

Mr. Tuck didn't screw up on purpose and felt bad when he did. Twiddle Dee was another matter. I never found out who was inside the costume but I had to start taking a different tunnel to my work location at the Magic Kingdom because Dee, I dunno maybe it was Dum, would sometimes corner me and silently hump me. Besides giving me nightmares about dopey looking fat guys it made me late to work a few times. His behavior was deliberately degrading and juvenile, but I never saw him replicate it in front of park guests.

One of my roommate's job was as a Disney character. She was a stunning girl with an amazing figure. Her unofficial name in our building was "hot" Jackie and as her roommate guys were always asking me if "they" were real. I honestly have no idea, although I saw them plenty. Jackie was a bit of a show off. I can't blame her, she was gorgeous. To this day all the guys we knew moan about the fact that the only one of them who ever saw her naked was gay. And he musta been really gay because if anyone coulda turned him straight it would have been Jackie.

As attractive as Jackie was she was only pretty enough to be cast as Alice in Wonderland. She would've had to get plastic surgery to be a Princess, yes I'm serious. When she wasn't Alice she rotated as several of the fur characters. Winnie the Pooh was her favorite for awhile. That is until she came down with a rash. In fact all the Poohs got the same rash that week.

So she switched to playing the White Rabbit. Which went ok for a time until a character breakfast went tragically awry. She was taking pictures with kids and signing autographs when out of nowhere a bratty preteen tackled her and tried to rip her head off. He nearly choked her because the heads are held on by a tight chin strap. He also was sitting on her chest and outweighed her by a few pounds. Jackie's "handlers" finally managed to get the kid off but she couldn't work the rest of the day.

As bad as my job could be, I never envied her. Florida in August as a fur character is pure hell. And with her massive boobs taped down, Alice was no picnic either. So as badly as I'd like to believe that Disney employees are the best of the best, with the kind of abuse they suffer I can't begrudge a guy a little payback.

Piggy Bank Confessions

First Posted on Myspace on April 10th, 2006


Before this weekend I may have said that change is a good thing. I would say change equals growth. But I think there's something to be said for playing by the rules.

I had a very disappointing weekend with an old roommate of mine. She tried college for awhile than decided that she liked to have sex more than she liked going to class, which is a shame 'cause I thought she was smarter than me. She dropped out and never looked back.

I really wish she would have. Than maybe she could realize what an utter mess her life has become. If she looked back she could compare the relatively easy life she used to have with her current downward spiral.

I don't consider myself a huge success. I did graduate college and am working in TV which is what I wanted. However I'm making crappy money, which is not what I wanted. But I do make enough to realize that there is something terribly wrong with working 9 hours and taking home $30. It's even more wrong to be excited about it.

Not being able to feed your dog because you absolutely don't have ten bucks is pathetic. Being ok with having a tooth pulled and left that way is not ok, it's trashy. Considering sex with strangers as a means to pay rent is called being a whore. And buying drugs instead of food is illegal.

I truly never even considered that this would be the fate of my friend. She used to be so like me and we got along great. I've mostly kept my opinions about her life choices to myself because I have learned that you keep friends better that way. But now not only am I disappointed in her, I'm mad at myself.

Realistically I know there is nothing I could have done, but I wish I had done something. I know my disapproval wouldn't mean much but maybe I should have shown it more. If I had questioned her choices and been more involved after college perhaps it wouldn't have gotten to this point.

I guess I though she'd grow out of it. Funds got pretty low at times for me in college and I could sympathize with her. But me being poor was always temporary. I had my parents support to fall back on, and I was working toward a better life.

She however will most likely end up as poor white trash and do time for possession. I still love her to death which makes it hard to accept that she seems fine with the changes in her life.

Not so Sick!

First Posted on MySpace on April 4th, 2006


For those non-News people out there who haven't heard, remember a few weeks ago I talked about a cop getting shot? Well guess what, he shot himself. On purpose. There was no other person there.

To me that takes a very messed up person to point a gun at themselves and pull the trigger, for any reason.

Shortly after it happened and I was telling someone the story about how we heard the cop screaming over the police scanners for someone to "drop the f*ing gun." I can't remember who it was but they asked me why was the cop's mic on? At the time I told them it must be procedure, or he forgot.

That out of place item has been rattling around in the back of my mind ever since. And when I found out Monday that it was all fake that conversation came roaring back to me. It WAS rather unusual to hear that much interaction over the scanners.

But honestly, what the hell was going through his mind when for no obvious reason, an officer of the law turned a gun on himself?

So the moral of the story... We news folk ain't the sickest people after all.

Farewell Thee...

First Posted on MySpace on March 27th, 2006


Friday after work I had a dentist appointment to get some cavities filled down in Detroit. Even though I no longer live in the area I think it's easier to drive an hour to see a dentist I've had all my life rather than bother with transferring info and such.

My parents moved away from my life-long house in Michigan about two years ago. After High School I spent as little time as possible in "L-Town." I would go home for Christmas and summers but I was never really there. Now that they've moved away for good it's kind of disconcerting to have no home. I mean I have a place to stay, several in fact, but nothing feels like home. I feel like a transient, constantly a guest, and constantly moving my belongings.
I've been back in the area several times but I couldn't resist the temptation to drive around my old hometown once more. It's surprising to me how much hasn't changed. I don't know what I expected, a great cosmic shift now that I'm no longer there? It's only been two years but I guess I thought it wouldn't feel the same. Yet I was bombarded with memories, good, bad, incredibly stupid moments came at me from intersections and neighborhoods I passed.

I found myself turning into our subdivision without a conscious though, as though it was physically impossible for me to drive by the street. I kinda hoped I'd see someone I knew and at the same time prayed that I didn't. After a rough hour in the dentist's chair I looked like a victim of domestic abuse. Thankfully it was a school day and no one was around.

I slowed as I passed my childhood home which is now owned by a young Bachelor. The house looked empty, to me anyway. All the windows were covered and it's obvious the new tenant doesn't know a thing about yardwork. My father would never let the lawn look so messy even in winter. I wanted to stop and look my fill but I knew our old nosey neighbor wouldn't recognize my new car and probably call the cops.

So I drove away, lost in thoughts of the girl I used to be. Until I hit Six Mile road. You'd think in two years they'd fix the f*ing potholes!

We're Sick Folk

First posted on MySpace on March 22nd, 2006


So I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again. News people are sick individuals. See, Monday morning's show was crawling along like always. Nothing exciting had happened over the weekend and we were struggling for news, which isn't a new thing.

All of a sudden (it usually happens like that) the police scanners start going nuts. A cop comes through screaming at some guy to "drop the f*ing gun." Next thing you know a cop has been shot and I'm running for my camera.

Overall I hate covering breaking news in the morning. It's dark outside, it's cold, and since I have to edit the morning show it's a race against the clock to get video and get back to the station. This particular shoot was no picnic since the gunman was still armed, on the loose, and willing to fire. Add to that some pissed off cops with tight lips and competing stations breathing down your neck. So I shot what I could, which was crap 'cause they wouldn't let me anywhere near the real action, and went back to the station to wait for reinforcements.

Now here is the sick part. I consider myself a fairly compassionate person. And I usually wish no ill on anyone. However I can't ignore the jolt of excitement this chaos gave me. An officer of the law who serves and protects the public has been shot. We have no word on his condition. A gunman is armed and dangerous running around town. And we're back at the station giving little high-fives.

To be clear the high-fives were congratulations on our hustle and the joy of for once having a new story on a Monday morning. We would have been just as excited if a bus had flipped over or an old folk's home had burned down. Basically we have warped minds.

You can always tell who's going to make it in News. They're people who love being in the middle of things, who know what's going on. They're often referred to as "News Junkies." My Producer Tammy is one of those people. She had Monday morning off but once she heard about the shooting she was on the phone to the station, pissed no one had called and woke her up. You're never completely off-work when you work in News.

No matter how much we gripe about working at a TV station, with weird schedules and second rate equipment. The truth is, when the shit hits the fan, there's no place more addicting than a newsroom. Once you get a taste of that adrenaline high and information overload, an ordinary office job just won't cut it.

Some Memories

This was first posted on MySpace on March 16th


So A's crazy "Bush Lady" story reminded me of some weird locker room extremes I have experienced. To share I have to go way back into the year 2002 when I worked at Walt Disney World.

No matter who you are at WDW you are considered a "cast member" and are given a costume to wear at work. I worked in the Magic Kingdom on Main Street U.S.A. in one of the biggest stores on property. Keeping with the turn of the century theme we all had horribly ugly old fashioned costumes. Mine consisted of a teal and brown plaid full length skirt and a off-white blouse with extremely puffy sleeves. To top off my humiliation I wore a bright pink bow tie.

For whatever reason Disney was concerned that us lowly "cast members" would want to keep these costumes. Maybe they thought I'd be all the rage at the local bars. Anyway, to circumvent mass thievery we were not allowed to take the costumes home with us, they checked our belongings before we left each day.

Therefore we each got a locker in a huge changing room in the tunnels underneath the Magic Kingdom. Yes the myth is true. The themepark is actually on the second story of the complex. And yes the tunnels stink and are slightly flooded in parts.

Two or three lockers over from mine was Princess Jasmine. Well, one of the many girls who played her. She wasn't a very good Jasime, she was kinda pale and did not have the stomach tone required to pull of the midriff baring Arabian costume she wore. And apparently she didn't realize that her ass wasn't so tiny either.

I know this because she liked to wear thongs. Really tiny thongs. I knew just exactly how tiny because she liked to bend over a lot, don't get excited boys, it wasn't a great look for her. She also was pretty lazy with the hedge trimming because her front reminded me of one of the ZZ Top members trying to wear a surgeon's mask. It just kinda spilled over...

She wasn't the epitome of what one would think a Disney Princess should look like. But then again it's really hard to find a good Jasmine, or a good Aladdin for that matter.

Speaking of which. Working at Disney is a magical experience. You get to see and do amazing things. You also get your childhood illusions completely shattered. If Jasmine's hairy ass isn't enough, try catching Prince Charming and Aladdin sucking face next to the meat hooks which hold up all the seven dwarf heads. Or listen to Cinderella bitch on her cell phone to her boyfriend about working overtime while chain smoking. Dreams really do come true!

BTW since I'm not working tomorrow, today IS my Friday... Shamrock Shake here I come!!!